Let me read your mind: You clicked on this article because you have the burning desire to achieve a big goal, but no matter what you do, you just can’t get started.
Or can’t maintain momentum.
Or the second you DO get started, some life crisis comes up, and you stall out.
“An excuse is nothing but a challenge that you’ve given your power to.” -Jen Sincero
I’m not psychic. Human behavior is just pretty damn predictable.
Do any of these sound familiar?
“I really want to be a writer, but I just can’t find the time.”
“I’d love to learn to horseback ride, but I’m too busy with work.”
“I want to go back to school and get my degree, but my kids really need me right now”
“I have a brilliant idea for a business, but mom is sick.”
SO MANY BUTS!
There will always be a “good” reason that you’re not going after what you really want.
I can’t tell you how many times people have started making progress toward a goal, but then something comes up, and they say they’re going to get back on track as soon as things “calm down.”
Get outta the way! 2020 comin’ through!
The truth is: Life never calms down.
If 2020 has taught us nothing else, it should be teaching us that there will always be a crisis to use as an excuse, be it personal or collective.
Your excuses don’t serve you, and they don’t serve the world.
If J.K. Rowling had said “well, I’m depressed, jobless, and raising a kid on my own, so I just don’t have the time or motivation to write,” we wouldn’t have Harry Potter, and she wouldn’t be one of the richest people in the world.
Hedwig don’t want your excuses
If Walt Disney had given up after people laughed at his amusement park idea, one of the world’s biggest companies (and a whole lot of joy) wouldn’t exist.
What childhood dreams are made of…
The truth is, creating something great feels…risky. Changing your life can be scary.
There are plenty of other low-risk pastimes that can hit that dopamine fix and pass the time. But if the dopamine high isn’t enough anymore, and too much time is passing you by, it might be time to look at the excuses you keep feeding yourself and others.
Here are eight excuses you might be using to avoid taking action toward your goals…and how to counteract them.
I don’t know how to start
Are you the first person to do the thing you want to do? No? Then I have great news!
If anyone, anywhere has achieved the thing that you want to do, then it can be done. And not only can it be done, but you have a blueprint on how to do it.
All you have to do is a little research, and you’ll most likely find numerous books, courses, podcasts, etc about how to make a website, start a crafting business on Etsy, become a certified hypnotherapist…whatever you can imagine. STOP TRYING TO REINVENT THE WHEEL, PEOPLE!
If you personally know someone who is doing the thing you want to do, even better. Buy them lunch or set up a Zoom coffee, and soak up their wisdom!*
*A word of advice: Do some research first, so that you’re not the 100th person to ask your friend how to get rich quick as a Twitch streamer, affiliate marketer, voice actor, etc. We want to help, but unless you are literally our best friend, we don’t want to answer questions easily answered by a Google search. Doing your research shows us that you are serious about your goal, and we are more likely to connect you to others who can help if we aren’t worried that you’re going to be unprofessional and embarrass us.
The easiest way to not get lost? Don’t forge your own path…get a map!
2. My idea is too crazy/impossible
Same question as above: are you the first person to ever do this thing?
If not, then your problem is not that you think the thing is impossible, but that you think it’s impossible for YOU.
If your goal is a difficult one, then it’s probably going to require doing a whole lot of things you haven’t done before. As you research, you’ll discover what those things are, and you can assess realistically if that’s the life you want.
A lot of people think they want to be a famous Hollywood actor, until they learn that famous Hollywood actors get up really early, spend tons of time being uncomfortable, attend events which look glamorous but are stressful and exhausting, spend a lot of their huge salaries on agents, managers, lawyers, assistants, publicists, stylists, etc just to fit in and be part of the Hollywood ecosystem. It’s not an easy life!
You want to be on Broadway? Figure out what skills a Broadway actor needs to have, and also what their habits are.
If you want to do anything extraordinary, you need to have extraordinary habits.
If your idea is truly out there…it doesn’t mean that it isn’t feasible. At one point, radio, TV, cell phones, space travel and even invisibility cloaks were all considered impossible. But if you can imagine it, there’s probably a way to make it happen.
If no one has achieved the thing, then start by finding out how close other people have come to anything like it. Start with what has already been done, then figure out how far the leap is from that thing to the thing you want to achieve.
The world would be a much less interesting place if no one ever pushed to innovate.
The jet engine was invented separately by two men during WWII…and they didn’t meet until after the war.
3. I had this great idea, but someone else already did it, so I give up
Your idea might not be unique, but you are. How you execute your idea is more important in the long run than the idea itself.
There’s a reason that Facebook became THE social media platform we all use. Imagine if Mark Zuckerberg (or the people he stole the idea for Facebook from) had said “Well, Six Degrees, Friendster, and MySpace already did it…there’s no reason to start my own social media site.” Instead, people barely remember these other sites!
Or if Shakespeare had lamented “I have no ideas, just these stories people have been telling for hundreds of years…no one is gonna want to hear MY version of them.”
Most of the best things in the world aren’t original. What matters is the execution, not the idea.
In fact, you shouldn’t worry if your idea has been done, or even if it’s been done A LOT…that just means there’s a market for that thing! Do your idea, and make it yours!
Don’t let detours derail your plans!
4. I want to do ten different things, and I can’t decide between them!
I feel you. But we all only have so much time.
Imagine that you are in the middle of Kansas, and you’re like “I want to visit New York, Los Angeles, Portland, Glacier National Park, and the Florida Keys” but instead of driving to one and visiting, and then moving on to the next, you just kept changing directions toward each destination until you eventually ran out of gas in the middle of Nebraska. This is what it’s like when you don’t just pick a destination. You never get anywhere.
Making a decision to focus on one goal does not take away your freedom. It allows you to focus on your objective until you achieve it.
If your goal is to be a great comedic character film actor and get cast in a Coen brothers movie, then while it might be tempting to do that summer stock production of Oklahoma in Montana, it’s not a very direct route to your goal.
Once in a while, these side trips can add an element of adventure to your life, and shake up a stagnant routine. Over time though, too many detours off your route can leave you feeling lost.
We all get the same amount of time. It’s up to you to spend it wisely and well.
5. I’m too busy
Too busy doing what? What are you doing with your time? A bunch of things that are not as exciting as the thing you say you want more than anything else?
Consistency matters more than giant efforts. Figure out what you want, and find a way to devote small consistent effort every day toward your goal.
For example, use your work break to do some research on your goal instead of playing Candy Crush on your phone…future you will thank you when you are publishing your children’s book rather than finishing level 10,345 of a never-ending game. (As a former Candy Crush addict, I speak from experience)
Your job should serve your overall goals. If it doesn’t, change it.
6. I have to work to make money, so I don’t have time to get started on my dream
Okay, this excuse is related to “I’m too busy,” but it’s an insidious excuse, because there might be some truth to it.
At some point, you have to decide what matters more and what you are willing to sacrifice in the short term to get there.
Are you willing to (temporarily) sleep less, watch less TV, go out with your friends less so that you can set yourself up for the life you want?
My mother raised me as a single parent, on welfare, living in low income housing. My mom started college when I was about 4. For six years, she worked multiple jobs, as a waitress, at a feather factory, cleaning houses. She worked hard, and graduated with honors with a teaching degree, so we could get out of poverty. She showed me that sometimes you have to sacrifice comfort in order to get ahead in the world.
This is only my own personal example. I know someone out there is already thinking to themselves “But my situation is different.”
All I can say to that is that if you still think your dream isn’t possible, you either haven’t explored all of your options, or you have decided certain options are more of a sacrifice than you’re willing to make.
Open your mind to possibility.
This one’s just here for the cute factor…
7. I’m too young/inexperienced
You’re never going to feel ready. We learn best by doing and course correcting when things start feeling wrong.
Do the thing you want to do, and learn as you go.
Sure, don’t go off hiking the Appalachian Trail without figuring out what you should bring with you or what you should know to stay alive! I’m not encouraging you to go forward totally blind.
Do the research that is necessary to be safe and to get started. But if you have been researching something for months…or years…or decades…then it’s time to just start.
So…are we just gonna sit here for the next 15 years?
8. I’m too old
If your dream is something you are physically capable of, or could be physically capable of with some work, then you’re not too old. GO FOR IT!
People your age (and older!) have probably done the very thing you want to do.
People over age 60, 70, 80, even 90 have done amazing things like:
climb the Great Wall of China
Sure, you might die before you achieve your goal. But that’s true of anyone of any age.
If you start today, you not only get the joy of striving for something meaningful over the next 10-30 years, but as an added bonus, seniors with a strong sense of purpose tend to live longer.
OR…you can spend that time NOT striving for a goal and instead sit around watching Big Bang Theory reruns. It’s your life.
Working toward your goals takes energy, but not as much as you think. It is likely that you are expending just as much energy justifying inaction to yourself or others, beating yourself up for not doing the work, or engaging in avoidance behaviors that are emotionally easier than facing your scary dream.
Once you start calling yourself out on your excuses, you can take that energy you were wasting on avoidance, put it toward your goal, and start to see some real progress.
Be brave, friends! Tell your excuses where to stick it, and conquer your dreams!
If you need help getting past your excuses or figuring out where you’re stuck, please reach out! I’m offering a free 15 minute strategy call for anyone who could use some guidance to get back on track. Click here to email me and set up a time.
Need a deeper dive into setting up better accountability for yourself and your goals? I offer accountability coaching sessions to give you the tools that will empower you to achieve your goals. Click here to email me for details.