Three tips? That’s it?
Honestly, I could come up with a ton more, but I’ve got stuff I need to do in 2021! I have goals to re-write in SMART goal format, marketing to do, a ukulele to play, and a cat that frequently demands attention and food, so let’s get right to this, shall we?
Show up.
No matter what you want out of your life, you need to show up for it.
Showing up, being present, giving our time is how we demonstrate what is important to us.
What are your priorities? Look at what you spend your time and money on, and that’s your answer.
If you want to find a life partner, you should probably consider dating. Your chances of encountering someone who’s funny, kind, good-looking, and who happens to share your obsession with base jumping are going to be a lot better if you narrow down your must-haves online first and then put yourself out there with good prospects. Or at least join a club for base-jumping singles.
Or maybe you’re an on-camera actor who wants to work more, but currently you’re just sitting around waiting for an email from your agent. Even discounting all of the other things you should be doing on the regular (when was the last time you actually took an acting class/got new headshots/updated your resume/worked on new audition material/etc), have you tried any of the other many methods of getting acting work?
This applies to everything.
If you want more money, start by showing up for the money you have. Be grateful for it, and pay attention to where you’re spending it.
If you want to lose weight, start by showing up for small things. Take the stairs. Go for a walk.
If you want a better relationship, start by being more present. Listen better. Express appreciation for the good in your relationship.
It might seem counterintuitive, but sometimes the best way to start something is NOT to go all-in.
“I’m reconsidering my actiooooooooooooooooooooooooonssssssssss”
Often, jumping in headfirst is a sure way to scare yourself right back to doing nothing.
Instead, start easy, and just show up.
Give the thing you want some time, but not so much that you feel overwhelmed by it. Approach it like you would a skittish dog. Get on its level, let it sniff you first, and don’t make any sudden movements.
If you’re a workout newb, and you start the year swearing that you’re going to do cardio every single day for an hour, AND do yoga twice a week, AND limit yourself to 1200 calories a day, you’ll probably burn yourself out after a week or two. If you say to yourself instead, “I just have to get to the gym, but I’m not required to do anything once I’m there,” you’ll probably decide “well, I’m here, maybe I’ll get on that stairmaster for 20 minutes.”
The barrier to doing something is often not the thing itself, but the showing up.
Whatever it is you want, show up for it in some way. Every. Single. Day.
What you project into the world comes back to you
2. Work on your mindset.
The past nine months have been rough on everyone. But none of us really have any control over the terrible things happening in the world. We can’t turn off the pandemic like a light switch, put out rampant forest fires with our thumb and forefinger, or stop a giant hurricane by blowing the other direction.
2020 really went all out. But even in an average year, there will always be obstacles to overcome and hardships to endure. All sorts of terrible things over which we have no direct control.
Your mindset is something you CAN control.
Now, I’ve seen people complain on social media “Stop telling me to be GRATEFUL when I’m pissed off about this year! I have plenty to be pissed off, sad, angry, etc. about.”
Our emotions about all of the bad things are entirely valid. But we can still feel those things and yet not let those emotions control our actions.
I can feel lethargic and depressed, and then choose to be grateful to have a healthy body, and still go do my yoga in spite of those feelings.
I can feel angry at all of the injustices in the world, and also choose to be grateful for the people and organizations who seek justice and equality, and put my focus on taking positive action
I can feel homesick and sad because I can’t visit my family and friends, and then choose to be grateful that I live in a time where we have so many ways to stay in touch with those who are far away, and plan alternate ways to enjoy time with them safely from afar.
My feelings about the situation don’t change the situation. How I react to it and what I choose to focus on CAN.
If you’re self-aware, maybe you already know what things help you have a positive mindset. If you don’t, spend some time thinking about what things positively affect your mindset, and then make sure you’re making space for those things in your life.
Idk about you, but bubbles give me joy
I solemnly swear that I won’t take these doggos
Your mindset booster might be:
Alone time
A clean house
Having a routine
Playing with a pet
Working with a life coach
Getting more/better sleep
Meditation or yoga practice
Taking a hot bath before bed
Joining an accountability group
Quality time with your significant other
Having coffee with a friend or friends regularly
Starting your day with inspirational podcasts or audiobooks
Watching doggos at the dog park like a dogless weirdo who might steal your dog…j/k we won’t, we just really like dogs and can’t have one yet
Okay, that last one might just be me and my boyfriend.
For me, sleep might be the biggest thing, but other important things are surrounding myself with other positive people, getting out into fresh air, and filling my brain with positive, optimistic messaging through the books I read and the podcasts I listen to.
If your mindset is trashed, beware of what you’re feeding it. As the computer people say, garbage in, garbage out. Don’t feed your brain crap about how hard life is, how talentless you are, and how sucky the world is, because then that is all you will see around you.
Want a better outlook? Clean up your act!
3. Create at least as much as you consume
Human beings were meant to be creative creatures.
So…how much did you create last year and how much did you consume?
For me, it was 51 and three half books, 43 TV series (at least one season each, but some of them much more), an indeterminate amount of movies, a few phone app games, and about ten different podcasts. That’s a lot of media, and I don’t even consider myself a HEAVY watcher of TV.
Thanks to all that TV and Dorito-eating time, my pants are tight and my spine hurts all the time.
But the physical symptoms are only part of it. When I sit and watch TV or play video games for too long, I tend to fall into a mental fog and I find I’m MORE tired than before.
Consuming is not bad in and of itself—we all need to eat, drink, be entertained, etc.
Consuming can be refreshing. Relaxing. To a point.
Overconsumption, on the other hand, can be immensely harmful, and is usually a symptom of something we are trying to avoid.
Creating allows us to explore ourselves and our inner landscape, and to express and exorcise difficult thoughts and emotions.
Creating can be both relaxing and invigorating at the same time.
Make plans to create more in 2021.
Knit a hat. Sew a quilt. Draw cartoons of your friends. Spend some time each day working on that novel you want to write. Refinish that ugly table that you keep meaning to make into a “shabby chic” masterpiece.
Go on, make a beautiful mess!
And while you’re creating all of these things, give yourself permission to be terrible.
We’ve gotten to the point in our society where we are impatient and don’t want to do things that we aren’t good at, so we give up. But that’s HOW you get good at something!
Whether or not you are good at a particular thing or want to get good at it, there’s value in just expressing all of those emotions you’re trying to drown in ice cream.
I ate one, one, one for my heartache…
Or maybe you should be grateful that you have feelings and money to buy ice cream to drown them in.
Do you have a tip for making 2021 a better year? Share it in the comments!