Well, I don’t know about everyone else, but for me, the New Year is off and running! I had an extremely busy week this past week. A bunch of jobs, TONS of auditions, and lots of my self-imposed projects to get to.
In fact, I still have more to do, so I’m going to keep this week’s blog short. Or try to. I’m not necessarily known for my brevity.
I don’t like this picture, but I couldn’t find another “Kick in the pants” pic
If you’re anything like most of the people I know, you probably wrote off last year. You probably abandoned your pants, threw out your makeup, stopped shaving, and haven’t had a haircut in recent memory.
Honestly, some of these things are kind of liberating. Razors are expensive, doing your hair and makeup is time consuming, and yoga pants are just so damn comfortable!! (As I write this, I am guilty of ALL of the above)
At the same time, after a while, the lack of effort can leave you feeling dumpy and uninspired.
At some point, the world will return to at least some semblance of normality.
When it does, do you want to emerge from your house looking like Rip Van Winkle, with birds living in your beard, muscles atrophied, and not knowing (or caring) wtf everyone out in the world is even doing anymore?
When depression sets in, it’s easy to sink into a pit of doing nothing. The dirty kitchen and the pile of laundry that could be clean or dirty (you’re really not sure anymore) just perpetuate the feeling.
Often, just taking five minutes to scrub the tub (even though you don’t want to) can lead to cleaning the whole house because it makes you feel better.
If you spent last year as an ostrich, hiding your head in a hole (LALALALALAEVERYTHINGISTOTALLYFINETHISISALLFINE) then your physical body is probably not the only thing looking like it just slept for 100 years.
This whole past year, I’ve heard people lament on social media “We are going through trauma—don’t ask us to be productive.”
I’m not.
But I am asking you all to consider that in these instances, cause and effect are hard to pin down. When I’m depressed, I might not feel like cleaning my house, but cleaning the house always improves my outlook on the world
Everyone deals with trauma differently. My way is to (like my mother) try to control the chaos. “If I work harder, I can make everything okay!”
I need to remind myself to relax and slow down sometimes. To tell myself it’s okay to do nothing, because I’m really bad at sitting still.
Similarly, other people need a good, swift (but kind) kick in the pants to get up.
In either case, we both need a reminder that self care is not just eating ice cream and watching TV, and that busy doesn’t necessarily equal productive.
Real self care often involves making yourself do the things that truly nourish your body and soul. It’s not about avoidance or escape, but allowing yourself to do things that bring you back to yourself.
Meditation. Going for a walk. Eating healthy food. Improving your home environment. Working on a meaningful goal. Allowing yourself space to BE.
Even this garden gnome is wearing pants…
Start by giving yourself permission to do whatever is easiest. Whatever empowers you or inspires you.
Often I think the people who post those comments on social media feel they’re being judged because they’re not doing enough.
I’m not judging them. I have compassion for anyone who feels overwhelmed, unfulfilled, undeserving and yet wanting more, because I have been there.
I do have a hunch that often, some people don’t allow themselves things that they really enjoy, that feed their souls, because they believe they don’t really deserve whatever it is they want.
For some, it’s hard to give themselves permission to enjoy life when others are suffering.
When you’re in that place, the key to getting out of it is giving yourself the time to take one small piece of action that empowers you to do more.
Not doing more because you need to be productive. But doing more of what makes you feel empowered as a human being.
If you’re an artist like me, that might mean allowing yourself a little bit of space for creativity.
The times during the pandemic that I’ve felt the best have been when I’ve let go of the need to be productive, without immediately filling that void with media to numb myself.
I love my TV and podcasts and audiobooks and games as much as anyone else, but after a while, I start to feel like I’ve been living on a diet of Surge and Papa Johns (which, coincidentally, was my diet in college).
Everything in moderation
I feel grounded and whole when I just sit and play around on my ukulele. When I take a really long walk and let myself think. When I have silly, absurd, rambling conversations with my roommates. When I take the time to cut up vegetables and cook something good.
Right now, I’m going to go do my yoga.
Not because I’m better than anyone who’s sitting on their couch. Not because I’m trying to get in shape. Not because I need to check it off my to-do list, but because it’s one place that I can allow myself to just be, and I feel better when I grant myself permission to do that.
If you can’t give yourself permission, I grant you mine.
Consider this your (kindly) kick in the pants.