Last April, right after we all went into lockdown, I remember people posting things like “How can anyone POSSIBLY ask me to be productive right now???”
And I remember thinking at the time, “Because we all have to survive.”
And also, “Really?? We’ve only been inside for a few weeks. What are you going to be like come October?”
I mean, I get it. The first part of the pandemic we were all adjusting to the weirdness of it all.
The lack of toilet paper (and hand sanitizer, and almost everything else at the grocery store)
Not being able to go out and do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted
Homeschooling
Suddenly having to work from home…or no longer having a job at all
The fact that the world was being ravaged by a mystery illness that we knew very little about
Yeah, all that.
This little girl speaks for all of us…
Truthfully, at the time I was semi-joyful. I went from working at survival job all the time, to having a lot of time to be creative and read and work on my voiceover.
I was a little anxious that my unemployment would never kick in, and definitely freaked out by the virus and all the unknowns, but within the safety of my apartment, it was playtime.
We all react to a crisis in different ways.
Some of us hoard toilet paper. Others (me) buy a 20 lb bag of rice in case of total societal breakdown…
Personally, I often go into some weird sort of survival mode where I work really hard and can’t force myself to stop. It’s a form of trying to control the unknowns and mitigate any potential fallout from circumstances outside my control.
Others become paralyzed and can only mindlessly consume media, whether it’s a Netflix binge, a YouTube plunge, Facebook scrolling, or immersion in video games.
Still others become angry and take it out on everyone they encounter. There’s been a lot of that this year. (See: “Karen”)
None of these responses are healthy. But overwork can masquerade as accomplishment. Consumption can masquerade as self-care. And misdirected anger is never okay.
Through the first few months, on social media, you’d see some people being like “Hey, we all have all this time right now! You should use it to your advantage and write that book you keep saying you’re going to write, work on those languages, get in shape, etc.”
And then come the others, angry and defensive, railing against the eternal “hustle.”
My brain translates these comments into “How dare you judge my lack of motivation right now.”
And I’m not. But I’m going to judge my own, and then go do too much again, because that’s just how I’m built.
I won’t judge you for staying in bed all day if you promise not to judge me for working until midnight…deal?
The other day, I was thinking about these people, and I had a realization.
Follow me back to Psych 101…
Abraham Maslow said that human beings have a hierarchy of needs. (Click here for more info about this)
We are motivated by basic needs first. Those things without which we will not survive physically, like food, water, warmth, and air.
Past that, there’s the need for physical, emotional, and financial safety/security. Then human relationships, love, and connection. Then achievement/acclaim/creativity.
And finally self-actualization—A.K.A. being the best YOU you can be.
All you need is food, and water, and sleep, and fresh air, and exercise, and human connection, and…
The basic gist is that if the lower needs are not being met, we won’t be super motivated to fulfill the higher needs.
AKA, if you’re not sleeping enough, you’re eating crap food with little nutrients, you’re forgetting to drink water, you’re concerned for your family’s safety, and your job security is in jeopardy, then you’re probably not going to be too motivated to learn Spanish, play your guitar, or write every day.
Understandably.
2020 was traumatic, and we are far from being done with that trauma. In fact, some of these things have started to wear on even the most stalwart optimists.
So, I’m going to so bold as to suggest:
It’s time to check in with your basic needs.
Vitamin D might help fight Covid-19…but as much as half the US may be deficient, so get your sunshine!
TRUE SELF CARE IS:
Feeding yourself well
Drinking enough water
Cleaning yourself
Getting fresh air
Moving your body
Getting plenty of sleep
Connecting with other humans
Making changes to anything in your life that is making you feel physically, financially, or emotionally unsafe.
I’m not knocking any of the other things we use to cope—I have nothing against someone being like “Screw it, tonight is a beer and pizza night, and then I’m going to buy a bunch of stuff on Amazon and spend the rest of the night playing video games.”
However…
Insufficient sleep increases the hormone that makes you hungry…making you more likely to overeat
Using coping mechanisms to mask a lack of basic human needs is majorly unhealthy in the long run.
Just like going straight for the top of the pyramid while the rest of your life teeters on two wobbly pillars (what I tend to do) is also unsustainable.
No one starts out this flexible! Yoga can be adapted to almost any environment and any body type or capability
Recently, I had to revisit my own basic needs and make some changes. In November and December, I was slacking on the self care somewhat and wasn’t getting much done. Then the new year hit, and I was motivated to get things done, but I very quickly started to feel burnt out because I was achieving at the expense of taking care of myself.
So I went back to basics…I’ve done yoga every single day (at least ten minutes) since January 1st; I’m drinking a LOT more water; I’m eating a TON more veggies and a lot less carbs and junk food. Now if I can just connect with other humans more again and get myself outside on a regular basis, I’ll be in great shape!
Listen to your mom: EAT YOUR VEGGIES!
Have you been feeling triggered by others’ achievements?
Are you a high-achiever who feels wrung out?
Ask yourself regularly:
Are my basic needs as a human being met?
Where am I using coping mechanisms to distract myself from actually taking care of myself?
Do I need to set boundaries with others in order to get my needs met?
Am I judging myself against others’ version of success or achievement instead of my own?
Hydration levels significantly affect your energy levels and brain function—if you’re feeling foggy, you might just need some water!
We all know how to take care of ourselves, yet we all forget to do it. Our modern world has so many ways to distract us from negative emotions rather than addressing the roots of these negative emotions.
Check in once in a while.
And be kind to yourself.
If you need more motivation, I suggest listening to Jen Sincero or Brene Brown’s audiobooks…it’s a great way to start the day!