You know, I haven’t been writing a lot lately, because, honestly, I haven’t felt like it. Or when I HAVE ideas, I forget to write them down so I can go back to them later. Besides that, I’ve been really stressed out.
Like many voice actors (or more generally, many entrepreneurs), I’m in this tricky transition point. The point where you really need to just take a leap fully and own it. Sink or swim, man.
Technically, I consider myself a full time voice actor, because I’m available to do auditions and record full time, but I am truly supporting myself with this part-time job that, while not as lucrative as voiceover, offers more reliable income and some benefits.
Lately, this part-time job has taken up more and more of my time, as I feel the pressure to have guaranteed income.
In other words, my anxiety and fear is winning out.
I know I can do voiceover. I have faith in my skill and know I can book. But I am also very aware of how unreliable this industry can be, and I’m not booking ENOUGH yet in my busier months to sock it away for the slower months.
Lately, my part-time job has expanded from 15 hours a week to 30. And I’ve let it, because even though overall, it provides less income than voiceover, it is fairly stable and predictable, and because I work from home and make my own schedule, I can still be super flexible for auditions and bookings.
But 30 hours a week is still 30 hours, and scattered over my weekdays from 9 or 10am until 8 or 9pm, and squeezing in auditions in between work sessions, I’m “at work” 12 hours a day, always having to be on, and conscious of constantly needing to be somewhere at a particular time (my part-time job is set up in 30 minute client appointments). When I’m done doing sessions for the day, there’s usually a fresh batch of voiceover auditions to do, and after my dinner break, I go do those late in the evening.
Having no clear boundaries in my day or free, unscheduled time is not healthy or sustainable for the long term, and I know it. But with inflation and economic uncertainty looming, I often feel like I don’t have a choice. The hustle feels like a necessity.
All of this came to a head in early June. Despite being exhausted, overworked, and absolutely homesick for my friends and family, I almost didn’t let myself do the one thing I needed most:
Take a damn break already!
Can you believe I almost missed out on pizza and ice cream at Pizzeria Lola with some of my best friends in the world? I can’t.
One night, I barely slept at all as my brain churned over and over, alternately feeding me anxieties about why I shouldn’t go, and trying to problem solve ways to make it work:
“The plane tickets are too expensive!”
“I’m going to see my family in August…I can just wait until then.”
“I can’t afford to just take off from work for a week and a half, and also risk missing out on VO auditions and bookings!”
“What if I get COVID and have to miss even more work because of it??”
Sure, I could have just waited until August. But as an extrovert who hadn’t seen her friends or family in person in a year, isolated by the pandemic in a city with little in the way of community, I knew I couldn’t make it until then. I was at my breaking point.
Thank God for my accountability group and my best friend. Supportive and amazing as always, they encouraged me to go.
My BFF Katie, who is there for me any time I need to be talked into something.
After buying a plane ticket on Spirit (at Delta prices), I was finally relieved enough to sleep through the night.
Buying the ticket allowed me to just focus on the present, get my work done, and do what I needed to before the trip, like let my agents and clients know I’d be gone and, just as importantly, figure out how to pack a week and a half’s worth of stuff into a backpack.
While I wouldn’t be totally off the grid, I decided not to take my equipment with me or do any auditions while I was gone. Since I’d be staying with family and friends with dogs and (mostly) without home studios, it seemed best to let that stress go.
Nothing better than a long walk around the lake at sunset for letting that stress go!
Also, a haircut. If you haven’t had one in a while, it will make you feel like a new person. This is my stylist Erianne at Hair Police in Minneapolis. She’s rad.
And then, the inevitable happened:
Not even one day into my trip, I booked a job.
And of course, they wanted it ASAP. Over the holiday weekend.
Luckily for me, they loved my audition read and just asked if I could send them a wav file of it. Score!
Then I booked another job.
A few days later, on July 5th, my best friend and I had just arrived at Noah’s Ark Waterpark for a day of waterslides and wave pools…and I booked another job! My bff patiently waited while I emailed the client back, standing in my bathing suit next to the lockers.
For that job, they wanted it by end of week, so when we returned from the holiday, I reached out to a friend who was nice enough to let me use her studio (thanks, Calley!).
AND ANOTHER!
While Ubering to her house to do the job, I got an email from one of my automotive clients—”Could you get these two spots done today?”
Why yes. Yes, I can!
The serendipity was palpable.
And then, the following day, I booked one more job, and they wanted to arrange a directed session the next day.
“Actually, I’ll be on a plane traveling back to Atlanta, but I’d be happy to record it for you over the weekend, or have a directed session early next week.”
For being on vacation, I actually did a decent amount of work!
When I total what I made from all of those jobs, it’s more than DOUBLE what I would have made if I’d stayed in town, working my part time job 30 hours a week.
But the time it took out of my vacation time was, at most, 4-5 hours.
One could say, “But you could have done those jobs AND worked your 30 hours a week. Plus, think of all the auditions you didn’t do!”
My response: At what cost?
I keep having to learn this lesson over and over again. Any time I fall into scarcity mindset, clamp down and punish myself by working harder than is necessary, it doesn’t make things better. It makes them worse.
When I allow, rather than force, things just magically fall into place.
Pictured: Strawberry cheesecake ice cream from Grand Ole Creamery in South Minneapolis. Oh, and my friend Jane and I. Jane is Leo’s dog mom. (See pic below)
What I gained by going on this trip:
Having fun!
Closeness with my friends and family
At least five pounds, from all the ice cream I ate
Reconnecting with people I haven’t seen in a long time
And a renewed sense of faith that when I actually give myself what I need, and allow things to happen rather than trying to force them to happen, I am always supported
Classmates from The Actors Workout at Sea Salt Eatery in South Minneapolis, July 7, 2022
And more classmates. Trevor is a shit. You heard me, Trev.
Everything works out.
Every time I have made a leap like this, it has.
Now, if I can just learn that lesson for good, that would be great. But I have a feeling I’ll be writing about this particular topic a few more times before I do.
Since I returned to Atlanta, I’ve been a lot more relaxed, joyful, and mindful. I’ve been more organized, and it feels like it takes less energy to get things done.
A week of ice cream (so much ice cream), fireworks, beaches, water parks, sunshine, starlight, campfires, doggos, and easy companionship will do that.
Leo and I, reunited after I rescued him from my hallway in Georgia this spring.
Leo now happily lives with my friend Jane and her family.
My stepsister’s doggo. Very kissy.
In less than a month, I head out again, and in the meantime, my part-time job has slowed down, so I think I’ll take that opportunity to put the extra energy into voiceover, but also into allowing myself more time to just be, and trust that I’ll be taken care of.
To sum it all up:
You get more done when you take breaks. Not when you push yourself to your breaking point.
Do you have any amazing vacations coming up? Share in the comments. I’d love to hear about them!
Lake Wazee, Black River Falls, Wisconsin. 4th of July weekend, 2022
An addendum:
The day I wrote this, I knew I wanted to get back to writing, but I had no idea what I wanted to write about. I had also made an appointment to go give blood.
I kept meaning to go give blood again, but I am always so busy, and also had such bad juju around the first time, that I just didn’t want to tempt fate again. (I got in a car accident on my way to give blood the first time and didn’t make it, and the time I did make it, my roommate passed out and we almost got hit by two other cars on the way home.)
On Saturday, I tried to fill out the check in form on their app five times, and kept screwing up and having to start over, and I almost canceled my appointment in frustration.
But Starbucks had emailed me saying I had points that were about to expire, and I didn’t want to let my own frustration and resistance and odd psychological connections get in the way of doing something that I know is good to do, so I told myself I could go to Starbucks, get breakfast, and sit and write for an hour before giving blood. I even got dressed up and left behind my usual t-shirt and yoga pants combo in favor of a cute dress and head scarf.
At Starbucks, I wrote this whole article by hand, faster than I’ve written any recent post.
I enjoyed the flow. The fresh air. The sunshine. My iced coffee. Watching the birds.
I had missed the parking lot when I arrived and chose to park back in the side neighborhood, and as I walked back to my car to go to my appointment, I saw these two signs:
And felt an even stronger sense of pronoia (the belief that the world is secretly conspiring in your favor).
I wish you the same.
My sister, Erin, catching me the trout that would become my 4th of July breakfast.