I hope you all are doing well out there. The past few weeks have passed quickly! I’ve been creating things, mostly…writing, creating videos, song parodies, doing voiceover, etc. But mostly, I’ve been waiting.
Existentially, it feels like everything is on hold.
I have also literally (not millennial literally, actual literally) been on hold for dozens of hours over the past three weeks, and I have some insights to share with anyone out there who has a company with an interactive voice response or on-hold message.
In the past three weeks, I have been on hold to speak with at least six separate businesses and one government agency, and have also interacted with IVR systems for at least ten other businesses besides.
Of all of these, I have good things to say about ONE of them. As for the rest? The IVR option menus were frequently confusing, and at least two of the on-hold messages made me want to throw my phone out the window. You try listening to “Your call is important to us. Please remain on the line, and someone will be with you shortly” for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT. By the end of hour one, I’m pretty sure my call is the last thing that you care about.
Here are my four biggest takeaways from all of this unintentional research:
Tone is important
What I learned from my three-hour foray into the fifth level of aural hell is that a “professional” sounding IVR that might have passed muster in the 90s or early oughts now sounds really off-putting. After a while, an otherwise professional recording lacking in sincerity starts to sound almost mocking in tone.
Just like radio commercials are trending towards conversational, your IVR should sound real. Sincere. Still professional, but not so forced. I want to feel like someone is talking to me personally, offering to help me find my favorite ice cream in the freezer aisle, not announcing to an entire store full of shoppers that closing time is in ten minutes and to please bring my purchases to the checkout.
Tunes matter too
Music matters too! Some of the easy-listening-on-repeat schlock that companies put on their phone messaging systems is so bad, I’m surprised anyone waits to speak with a customer service rep at all. I know copyright music is out, but there must be something other than Guatemalan pan flute light jazz covers from the early 80s.
Timing matters a LOT if those other two things suck:
Another option entirely: make your IVR truly helpful, and get people out of the system faster. Remember the one company I mentioned that was amazing? Their IVR prompted me to enter my account info, and within less than five minutes had guided me through getting an application sent to my email. I didn’t wait on hold for hours! The voiceover was SUPER conversational and friendly! It almost felt like I’d spoken to the world’s most helpful and confident customer service rep, and I never even spoke to a live human! I left that call in awe that my experience was so effortless and easy. A huge contrast to the exhaustion I felt after three hours of on-hold purgatory with one of the world’s largest credit card companies.
Torturing your clientele is bad for your brand
I don’t pretend to know about all of the technology that goes into the back end of these things, so once again, a really responsive system like this might be too expensive for smaller business, but larger businesses, please, for the love of God, STOP TORTURING US. Because whether you like it or not, no matter how much money you spend on your TV commercials, your magazine ads, and your radio spots, or even how much training you give your live customer service reps, any neglect of your recorded customer service is also reflecting on your brand. I’m going to remember the three hours of repeated “Your call is important to us” long after I’ve forgotten about your last thirty second spot.
So, here’s your challenge: Listen to your own phone messaging/IVR as if you were a customer calling in (or have someone else do it), and assess the following:
How hard is it to navigate the interactive menus?
Does the voice recognition software understand you when you make your selections?
How believably friendly is the voice on your recording?
Do the tone of voice and of the on hold music match the customer service experience you want people calling in to have? (i.e. for any customer service where people might be experiencing major life-altering problems like health issues or financial difficulties, it’s safer to opt for warm and reassuring over perky)
Is the audio quality clear and audible, or are there crackles and hisses?
Is the volume too loud or too soft?
If you feel like it’s time for a change for your IVR, please reach out. I’d love to help.
I promise, I won’t keep you on hold.
Stay safe out there people! And if your relationship with your Netflix account is becoming a little too co-dependent during this homebound time, check out my last article about conquering Coronavirus Cabin Fever to get eleven ideas about how to stay healthy and sane in quarantine.