The Best Kept Secret in Entertainment

No…it’s not how to attract the attention of top agents…

Or that short actors are put in platform shoes or on apple boxes to make them look taller…

Nor is it how celebrities can manage to adopt eight children, travel the world, stay in shape, head their own charity, run a multi-million dollar company that sells luxury goods, film multiple projects a year while doing press for all of them…and still manage to look well-rested.

For the past two weeks, I was volunteering for an organization more secretive than the Masons.**

**Okay, I might be exaggerating a little bit there…

An organization that is over 100 years old…

An organization devoted to helping actors and anyone else in the entertainment industry—lawyers, burlesque performers, ushers, photographers, opera singers, costumers, grips, producers, stage managers, circus clowns...

Yes, even you, skeptical clown man!

Everyone that I have told about it has never heard of it, and I only heard about it after becoming active on LinkedIn during the early days of the pandemic.

It’s not a union.

It’s not exclusive.

And it’s not limited to New York or Los Angeles.

Do you know what it is?

Are you stumped yet?

The organization is The Actors Fund.

Originally founded in 1882 in response to the anti-actor sentiment after Lincoln’s assassination, The Actors Fund was created to help actors and other performers, who were often discriminated against, get a proper burial after death.

Since then, The Actors Fund has become a national non-profit organization that offers all kinds of services to anyone in the entertainment industry.

Some of the many initiatives the fund has supported throughout the years have included:

• Senior care

• Affordable housing

• Retirement planning

• Access to healthcare

• Emergency financial assistance

• Education and career counseling

• Support for those with HIV/AIDS through Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS

• And much more…

While some services are still restricted to the cities where the fund has offices (NYC, LA and CHI), the internet has made other services accessible to all.

You, too, can attend a class in New York from your rooftop in Seattle! Or Minneapolis! Or Phoenix! Or…Keokuk, Iowa.

Just some of the interesting workshops coming up on the Career Center’s calendar this month:

• Managing Cash Flow

• Mindfulness Meditation

• Budgeting Nuts & Bolts

• Good Grief: Grief Support Group

• How to Job Search During a Pandemic

• Asian American & Pacific Islander Entertainment Professionals Gathering

• Mind, Body, Spirit: A Group for Black Women Working in the Entertainment Industry

Did I mention these services are all FREE?

Your money is no good here!

Back in May, I took the LinkedIn Suite for Entertainment, which is a trio of workshops on how to use LinkedIn effectively, and I participated in the 15-day LinkedIn Challenge that followed.

About a month after the challenge, I learned about LinkedIn’s Social Sales Index, and discovered that I was in the top 1% in my industry and in my network (translation: I’m working LinkedIn’s algorithm better than 99% of people in the industry), and I have The Actors Fund to thank for that!

After the challenge, I have been telling everyone about the fund, and promoting their services to all of my performer friends.

When the September challenge happened, I signed up to volunteer as an ambassador, helping to support others doing the challenge.

If you want to sign up for any of these upcoming workshops through the career center, you must first take the Career Center Orientation, which is offered every Monday except on legal holidays.

The LinkedIn Suite for Entertainment and LinkedIn Challenge will ONLY be offered one more time this year, in November.

Next year, they plan to offer it, but fewer times overall, so if you want to up your LinkedIn game, sign up for November’s workshops!

Click here to sign up for the orientation and see all of the other resources and workshops at The Actors Fund’s website.

And please—don’t keep this a secret!

How to Get What You Want

No one gets everything they want 100% of the time.

That’s just ridiculous.

But if you can do just two things, you’ll get what you want a lot more often.

Be careful what you wish for…

First: Know what YOU want

Then: Get specific. Really specific. 

Without a target, you have nothing to aim for. 

What’s your bullseye?

So many of us (but actors especially) come from such a scarcity mentality, that we are afraid to say what we really want for fear of losing out on ANY opportunity. 

• We take the low paid jobs, for fear that the better paid ones will never come along. 

• We check yes to “Willing to take any role,” when we really only want to play the lead. 

• We audition for everything, and then have a panic attack about declining a role, worried that the director will never cast us again. 

There are times when being open minded is a good thing.

When you’re in your teens or twenties, you’re still discovering who you are, what you like, and what you’re good at. At that point, gaining experience of any kind is good until you start to narrow down your goals. 

However, just thinking about your options does not give you any actionable feedback.

Don’t overthink it. Pick a target. Try it out. Take action. 

Doing the thing gives you direct input—What do I like about this? What do I NOT like about this? 

You get feedback, and you adjust your course. But first, you must be in motion. 

Get moving

Listen to yourself. No one else. 

I used to work for Ann Kim, who runs four restaurants in Minneapolis. She won the James Beard Award a few years ago, and her advice when she won, her ongoing mantra: #fuckfear

Allow me to relate a short version of her story: She was an actress. She gave it up. She thought about opening a Jimmy Johns franchise. Instead, she opened her own restaurant, Pizzeria Lola. She had no experience running a restaurant and no formal chef training.

I’m sure many people out there probably tried to talk her out of it. 

That’s what our well-meaning family and friends often do—they put their own fears on us in the guise of trying to be helpful. Because they want to keep us safe. Protect us from disappointment.

So…

• We go to school for business instead of graphic design. 

• We opt for a “safe” career, rather than the one our heart yearns for. 

• We never take the steps toward our dream, because if we never try, we cannot fail. 

True story

My Story

I have known, in my soul, since I was three, that I wanted to be an actor. And by the time I was six, I added singer, artist, and writer to that list. 

My senior year of high school, I told the counselors I would not take AP Calculus because there was no reason—I was going to major in theatre, so why keep taking math? Instead, I spent my senior year taking AP Lit & Comp and another English class, and my after school time doing theatre at school and in local community theatres.

The summer after my senior year of college, I had trouble finding a job right away, and my mom encouraged me to apply at the grocery store. Now, there’s nothing wrong with working in a grocery store, but I have no regrets about never having applied. I had already worked retail for about six months in high school, and it was one of the most depressing jobs I’ve ever had. 

There is value in knowing what will help you grow, learn new skills, and make your soul expand vs contract. 

When I graduated from college, I knew I never wanted a full time desk job. I never wanted to be comfortable but unhappy. I wound up working at a desk job full time for almost four years, and while it was admittedly a pretty cushy position, there was no room for advancement or skill building, and it started wearing on me working 40 + hours a week, plus having rehearsals 20-30 hours a week, as well as auditions and trying to have a life. When I was finally laid off, I swore I would never let another full time position get in the way of pursuing my real goal of acting. 

When I became clear on wanting to do voiceover, I quit four of my five part time jobs. I kept the one job that would allow me to invest the most time and money in my voiceover career. And I quit doing theater. Because even though I love it, it didn’t fit into my plan anymore. At least not right now.

One path leads to the center of the labyrinth, and the other one leads to…certain death

Back to the discussion of specificity—

So, while I have known my whole life that I wanted to be an actor, and I have single-mindedly focused on that, the one thing I could have done better along the way is to be specific. To really dig in and figure out “What do I REALLY want?” 

Shakespeare? Film and TV? Musical theatre? Legit theatre? Creating my own work?

I’ve dabbled in a little bit of everything, but never committed to one path, always spouting the same wishy-washy bullshit line: “I just want to make a living acting!” 

So I did make my living “acting”…at kids’ birthday parties, as a mall princess, doing singing telegrams, reading palms at grad parties, being in corporate industrial videos, doing patient simulations for medical students, plus the occasional play that paid a stipend that didn’t even cover parking for the rehearsal period. 

Was that what I REALLY wanted? No! But what I really wanted was too big and scary to really say out loud.

If I had gotten specific and been honest about that, then I could have faced the scary things that it would have taken to get to my goal.

You know the saying…aim for the moon, and even if you miss, you’ll end up among the stars

How specific can you get?

One time, in my old accountability group, one of the members had said that he wanted to get cast in a feature film. 

That’s at least more specific than “I want to act.” 

But I challenged him to get more specific—

• What genre of film? 

• What kind of character? (The dad roles, he said)

• What kind of dad? 

There’s a huge difference between Liam Neeson’s role in Taken, Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire, and Jack Nicholson’s role in The Shining, but they’re all dads. 

Hell, Darth Vader is a dad. 

One day, son, you’ll be a great dad like me!

Time, money, and energy are all limited resources.

Know what you want, and you’ll not only waste a lot less of all three…

But in not scattering these resources, you’ll get what you want a lot more frequently as well.

Don't Trust the Funhouse Mirror

When I was in sixth grade (oh, most dreaded of middle youth years!), a mean girl in my class told everyone that I thought I was a princess, and taunted me publicly.

First off, I would NEVER claim to be a princess. A mermaid, maybe, or a witch…but a princess? NAHHH….

I still remember the feeling of the skin on my face spontaneously bursting into flames. I remember the clenching in my gut. I remember feeling entirely alone.

“Flames, on the sides of my face…”

When these things used to happen (and they happened fairly often throughout junior high and high school), my mom would take me into the bathroom, make me look at my slobbery, snotty, sobbing self, and repeat after her:

“I am smart. I am kind. I am funny. I am beautiful. And if they can’t see these things, it’s their loss.”

This past week, I really could have used that.

I know people aren’t always going to agree with me, or like what I have to say. I can handle that.

But for two days, it felt like people who didn’t know me at all were holding up a funhouse mirror that distorted everything I was trying to say, warped my intentions, and twisted the image I hold of myself as a person who is out there trying to help others.

When all of this went down, I re-read everything. I questioned my ideas, and my actions. I spent a few days crying. Working through the feelings of being misunderstood and humiliated. Examining the experience to see what I could/should have done differently.

As someone who has had my own feelings hurt, and would never intentionally step on anyone else’s toes, I appreciate having the opportunity to address those situations directly and apologize.

But that requires direct communication, and message boards…are not very forgiving.

That funhouse mirror…made me look like a monster.

After trying in vain to recognize myself in the reflection I was being shown, I went to my friends and family, and asked them to hold up a truer mirror, to remind me who I really am.

They reminded me that:

• I am passionate about helping people so they don’t have to struggle with the same things I did

• I am brave for sharing my thoughts and ideas openly with the world

• I am kind

• I inspire others

• I encourage others

But that doesn’t mean they ONLY show me the good stuff.

Trust me, these people have known me long enough, they KNOW my flaws, and they will tell me to my face when I’m being unreasonable. (My mom especially!)

They also reminded me that: 

• I often need to listen better

• I cannot change people’s opinions or beliefs through force

• It’s even more important to make sure someone feels heard even if (and ESPECIALLY IF) I disagree with them

So, for anyone out there who didn’t feel heard or acknowledged, I’m sorry. Trust me, I heard you, even if I did not communicate it well. I truly hope there are no hard feelings.

All my love and gratitude to the friends and family who lent me their support this week. It was greatly appreciated. Thank you for being my mirror!